Learning All the Time

This was in my e-mail inbox this morning. It describes my view of life and learning pretty accurately. It's a wonderful thing to know that you can learn whenever, whatever, and however you want. The prospect fills me with a joy and excitement that I want to share with everyone. This life of learning is better than any single school could ever be, and the only enrollment requirement is to be alive!

A Life of Learning - Earth School

Life is the province of learning, and the wisdom we acquire throughout our lives is the reward of existence. As we traverse the winding roads that lead from birth to death, experience is our patient teacher. We exist, bound to human bodies as we are, to evolve, enrolled by the universe in earth school, an informal and individualized academy of living, being, and changing. Life’s lessons can take many forms and present us with many challenges. There are scores of mundane lessons that help us learn to navigate with grace, poise, and tolerance in this world. And there are those once-in-a-lifetime lessons that touch us so deeply that they change the course of our lives. The latter can be heartrending, and we may wander through life as unwilling students for a time. But the quality of our lives is based almost entirely on what we derive from our experiences.

Earth school provides us with an education of the heart and the soul, as well as the intellect. The scope of our instruction is dependent on our ability and readiness to accept the lesson laid out before us in the circumstances we face. When we find ourselves blindsided by life, we are free to choose to close our minds or to view the inbuilt lesson in a narrow-minded way. The notion that existence is a never-ending lesson can be dismaying at times. The courses we undertake in earth school can be painful as well as pleasurable, and as taxing as they are eventually rewarding. However, in every situation, relationship, or encounter, a range of lessons can be unearthed. When we choose to consciously take advantage of each of the lessons we are confronted with, we gradually discover that our previous ideas about love, compassion, resilience, grief, fear, trust, and generosity could have been half-formed.

Ultimately, when we acknowledge that growth is an integral part of life and that attending earth school is the responsibility of every individual, the concept of "life as lesson" no longer chafes. We can openly and joyfully look for the blessing buried in the difficulties we face without feeling that we are trapped in a roller-coaster ride of forced learning. Though we cannot always know when we are experiencing a life lesson, the wisdom we accrue will bless us with the keenest hindsight.

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"It's Fun!"

That was what the cashier at Staples told us about high school, and why my unschooled daughter should go to high school when she's older. He then proceeded to tell us about the fun one can have in high school. For example, this young man was able to arrange to have fireworks explode on his school roof without getting caught! :O I informed him that my 17 year old son (who wasn't with us at the time) has fun with fireworks too, without attending school. Then he asked would I rather my son be using fireworks at home or school. Oh yeah, go do dangerous things without any guidance and supervision, in places where others could be seriously injured. I quickly answered, "At home."

I believe that the danger in most activities is often relative to one's knowledge of, and experience with that activity. Fireworks are a prime example. Driving a car is another. I see that my own children, having been provided with information and guidance about how to safely pursue the things they're interested in, are able to enjoy the activities they choose without needless risk-taking. Their thrills come from doing what they want, not getting away with things they "shouldn't" be doing. Now that's my idea of fun!

Unschooling Gifts

This is taken from Today at The Daily Om:

August 14, 2007

Being A Container

Holding Space For Others

We have all been called upon at one time or another to help a loved one through a difficult time. When the help required consists of concrete actions, such as running errands or making phone calls, we know what to do. But sometimes we are called simply to hold space for the person as they go through whatever they need to go through. They may need to express anger or grief; they may need to talk or be silent. They may need us to hold their hand; they may need us to give them time alone. Whatever the case, when we hold space for someone, we offer ourselves up as a container for the overwhelming feelings they may be encountering due to their circumstances.

When we offer ourselves in this way, the more centered and grounded we are, the better. Our steadiness allows our companion to lean into us for support, as our presence provides an environment in which they can be free to move. We can also help by being responsive, allowing them to dictate the flow of action from talking to not talking, from anger to grief, and back again. By being aware and open, we can help them confront their feelings when that feels right, and back off from them when they need a break. Holding space requires humility, conscientiousness, and the ability to step out of the way, to honestly understand that this is not about us.

When we love someone in this way, we provide a space in which they can simply be. Able to feel what they need to feel without worrying about how they are being perceived. We can provide this offering in person, over the phone, or even from a distance, through meditation. However we do it, when we hold space for someone in need, we are offering a gift of the highest nature.

I'm feeling very, very grateful today for the gift of time that unschooling gives us to be with our children in such a mindful, meaningful way. I have been through many times like this with my children. I know I would not have been able to be there for them if we had to live our lives according to a school schedule and all that entails. Sometimes, it takes quite a while to work through strong feelings, and being flexible with our time allows us to address what is going on PRESENTLY, instead of always getting ready for, going to, or working towards, something in the future. It's not that we don't make plans, or set goals, it's just that they don't run our lives. We run our lives, and we are able to adjust our plans as needed to ensure that people and relationships come first. That IS a gift!

Summertime and the Learning is Easy

It seems like summer is such a busy time for us, with so many special activities and trips going on, and naturally, so much learning occuring. That's why it's always funny to me when people start asking in August if we're getting ready to "start back with our studies" again. I usually say that we never stop learning!

Anyway....... here are just a few of the things that have been keeping us busy since my last post.

My husband and I took our youngest son canoeing on the Peace River, pictured above, because it is supposed to be one of the best places in Florida to search for fossilized shark teeth. Joseph NEEDED to find some more to add to his collection. So, after some internet research, and construction of our sifting screens, off we went into "the wild". We only saw 2 other boats during our entire 4 hour trip down the river. It was peaceful, alright! We were all quite relieved that we only saw one small alligator sunning itself, but were pleased to see many birds, turtles, and fish. Best of all, we came away with about a dozen shark teeth and a few other fossils! This was not even the best time of year to be fossil hunting, so we are already planning to return when the river is nice and low.

Our downstairs guest bathroom has also been busy quite a bit too, LOL! That's because it has been taken over as a laboratory. Angelica and Joseph named it the "Non-stop Lab", made a sign for the door, and created their own lab shirts on which they draw a picture of each experiment they've done. There are also safety rules posted, like "Long hair must be tied back to keep it out of the experiments." The inspiration for many of their experiments came from the book "Mad Professor", but they also create their own experiments like comparing how different materials soak up colored water, and which glue makes the best "goo". Results are recorded in the "lab notebook." I don't think I could have come up with a more fun science curriculum if my life depended on it!

As if we hadn't done enough in July, we also celebrated our oldest son's 16th birthday. Part of the celebration included driving him and 5 other friends to see The Warp Tour in Miami. While the teens were outside rocking and sweating, and then soaking in the rain, the older and younger crowd went to the Miami Science Museum. There we were able to see an amazing collection of some of our favorite things, dinosaur fossils, from China no less! Of course the biggest draw for my kids were the hands-on exhibits, especially the "conservation of angular momentum" exhibit where my kids took spinning around in circles to the extreme. We also really enjoyed the electricity demonstration and the planetarium show.

Oh, and before July could end, we squeezed in a trip to Maine to visit the Grandparents and many cousins. We had lots of elemental fun - earth, fire, water, and fresh air. :)

So now you know why I laugh when people ask if I'm getting ready to have the kids start "school" again. That was only some of what we did in one month of this summer! Phew! Here's what I envision when others talk of getting ready for school........

Covering the Basics

We had a super busy weekend, meeting all the basic human needs for food, shelter, clothing, and beauty. Here are the results of our efforts.

A t-shirt that became a dress, thanks to the wonderfully easy tutorials on whatthecraft.com.

A house was built from "Magic Nuudles".

Delicious strawberry-banana smoothies were made using a recipe from the DK Children's Cookbook.

And last, but certainly not least, some ShrinkyDink artwork was created by Joseph.

Oh, I forgot all about the experiments in the laboratory. I just can't keep up with all the fun that goes on around here! LOL Well "the lab" deserves a post of its own, so I guess you'll here about it later.

Until then, hope all your needs are being met with JOY!

READING BETWEEN THE LINES

In our unschooling journey, my view of reading has evolved. I have always been a book lover. I remember waiting anxiously for the next book-of-the-month club arrival in the mail when I was about 10 years old. I used to peruse my grandmother's bookshelves everytime I visited and couldn't wait to see what new books she might have. Even now, I have to keep myself in check from spending too much money in bookstores. So naturally, I wanted to share that love of books and reading with my children.

In our first year of homeschooling (we weren't unschooling, yet), I told my then 10 year old son that I wanted him to always have a book that he was reading. He could choose whatever he wanted, and take as long as he wanted for each book, but I wanted him to keep reading. In one year he read 20 books! I was amazed, and so was he. He stated that he actually liked reading. However, after that, I no longer required him to read books, and I don't think he's read one in it's entirety since.

What has happened though, is that I learned that reading isn't THE key to learning, and reading from books isn't the only reading that counts. My son has learned so much in the last 5 years that it tires me to even think about trying to summarize it. He and I both read on-line much more than in books now, as well as magazines, and manuals, and other practical guides.

Also in that first year of homeschooling, my 5 year old daughter learned to read. She learned what sounds each letter made, and then with us reading to her every night, and some Bob Books, she was well on her way. During this past year, she has REALLY enjoyed the Captain Underpants series by Dave Pilkey. In fact, she has read every book in the series 5 times! One day when she was home on the couch with a fever, she decided to see if she could read them all in that day. She did. I have soooo many other books waiting for her to discover. I was beginning to worry we would never move on. Yes, she loves books, but only the same ones over and over! But thankfully, we saw the new Nancy Drew movie a week or so ago, and when I mentioned that they have a whole series of books about Nancy and her mysteries, my daughter was intrigued. I picked up a few at the library, and now she's read 5 books in the series already. Good-bye Captain Underpants, Hello Nancy Drew!

Now my 7 year old son is still figuring out how to read. He knows the letter sounds and knows lots of words by sight from the computer, video game play, and everyday life. He is also able to sound out some words and figure them out. But, because he has cousins the around the same age who are reading more already, the questions are starting to come. Like, "Is he showing any more interest in reading?" "How's he doing with the reading?" "Have you been working on reading with him?"

I am so grateful that I know better than to worry in response to such inquiries. I know my son. I know he is learning every day. I see it. I know the tool of reading will be in his tool belt as soon as he is ready to pick it up. It's not something I can just hand to him and say, "take it." The best part is as he's learning, he's having fun. He's able to try things out whenever he feels like it, stop when he feels like it, read whatever he wants, without any pressure at all. He has such a great sense of humor about it all too. If he sounds something out, and it sounds funny to him, he'll laugh and say it again and tell us all. That's the kind of mistake that would lead to correction and shame in a school setting. I hope my son keeps his sense of joy and humor intact when it comes to reading and all learning. As long as we unschool, I think that's entirely possible.

HERE'S TO FINDING YOUR WAY IN LIFE, JOYFULLY

A fellow unschooler I happen to know personally was recently interviewed with her children for a public radio broadcast. They did a great job. It was a pretty balanced piece; you can check it out here. At the end though, the reporter mused whether children will be able to "find their way" without the structure of a more traditional educational setting.

This is one of the things I value most about unschooling, that my children are "finding their own way" now, rather than being told which way to go. I have so many friends who followed the conventional wisdom of school, college, work, family leading to this day. Today they are questioning what they really want, what will make them happy, what their true desires are. For some of us, our true desires and passions have been buried so deep below what we felt were our obligations to meet, we don't know anymore. There's alot of excavating to do.

What a gift it is to honor a child's interests and desires from the beginning! To let a child know that their thoughts are worthy of consideration only fuels the fire of a healthy, active mind. How this could not be a good thing, I don't know. I believe that children whose ideas are respected and whose pursuits are supported as they grow, will be less likely to have the so-called "mid-life crises" that plague so many caught in the rat race. These children will also be more willing to take a stand, and pursue something independently, not just because it is what is expected of them. That sure gives me hope for their future, and all of ours as well.

State of the Union or Reaping What You Sow

What you see below is the verbatim copy of an e-mail I received today from a friend. It is the second time I have seen this e-mail, and I just HAD to make a public statement about how I feel about it. (I know I don't have much of a "public" reading this, but it will help me to get it off my chest and more coherent for future proselytyzing. ;)

WOW, WHAT A WAKE UP!

Dear God:

Why didn't you save the school children at ?

Moses Lake , Washington 2/2/96
Bethel , Alaska 2/19/97
Pearl , Mississippi 10/1/97
West Paducah , Kentucky 12/1/97
Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97
Jonesboro , Arkansas 3/24/98
Edinboro , Pennsylvania 4/24/98
Fayetteville , Tennessee 5/19/98
Springfield , Oregon 5/21/98
Richmond , Virginia 6/15/98
Littleton , Colorado 4/20/99
Taber , Alberta , Canada 5/28/99
Conyers , Georgia 5/20/99
Deming , New Mexico 11/19/99
Fort Gibson , Oklahoma 12/6/99
Santee , California 3/ 5/01
El Cajon , California 3/22/01
and Virginia Tech., 4/16/07?

Sincerely, Concerned Student

Reply:
Dear Concerned Student:
I am not allowed in schools.
Sincerely,
God

How did this get started?...
Let's see,
I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare complained she didn't want any prayer in our schools. And we said, OK.

Then, someone said you better not read the Bible in school, the Bible that says "thou shalt not kill, hou shalt not steal, and love your neighbors as yourself," And we said, OK...

Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehaved because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem. And we said, an expert should know what he's talking about so we won't spank them anymore.

Then someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children when they misbehave. And the school administrators said no faculty member in this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don't want any bad publicity, and we surely don't want to be sued. And we accepted their reasoning...

And the entertainment industry said, let's make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence and illicit sex... And let's record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes... And we said, it's just entertainment and it has no adverse effect and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, classmates or even themselves.
Undoubtedly, if we thought about it long and hard enough, we could figure it out. I'm sure it has a great deal to do with... "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW,"

Pass it on if you think it has merit! If not then just discard it...but if you discard this thought process, then don't you dare sit back and complain about what bad shape this country is in In God We Trust

I think that the separation of church and state got carried too far in removing prayer from schools, but I also think it is par for the course when it comes to schools. Freedom of religion is just one more right that children in schools are prevented from exercising, along with too many more to list here. But to say that not spanking our kids, or paddling them in school is what brought about the demise of our country is just plain bogus. Spankings, and much worse, occur all the time in this country. Paddling is still legal in many state schools! Children continue to die at the hands of the very people entrusted to keep them safe and help them flourish. Not to mention all the research which shows violent criminals were usually mistreated as children. Yes... we do reap what we sow!

How much more obvious could it be?!

The Center for Effective Discipline

You're Welcome, Florida!

Apparently, some people think by home/unschooling our own children we are helping to improve education for all children in Florida. They helped draft this proclamation. The governor of our sunny state declared this week, "Home Education Week", and commended parents and home education "students" for their efforts. He even mentioned some well known homeschoolers, such as Thomas Edison and Sandra Day O'Conner, as examples of how homeschoolers have been able to excel.

Not a bad public endorsement, but am I being too cynical in wondering where this is leading?