Mother's Day

This was our first Mother's Day without my husband's mom here. I was missing her so much this week. It is such a bittersweet holiday this year. As sad as I am for not having my mother-in-law and my grandmothers here to celebrate, it makes me even more grateful for my own mother still being a part of my life, and especially grateful to actually be a mother myself. I am frequently awe-struck by the fact that I am blessed with children, and they each are so amazing to me! There is no other gift that could ever possibly bring more joy and meaning to my life than my children have, just by being who they are.

To me, that is what Mother's Day is all about, celebrating the gift of each other. Hope you all had reason to celebrate this year!

Open the Door to Joy in 2009!

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove



:: Is Joy Knocking On Your Door? ::



She knocked on the huge palace door. The peepholecover slid open, revealing the grim face of thepalace guard. "Who goes there?"



"I am Joy," she answered with a smile, "I'm here tovisit the Queen."



The guard shut the peephole abruptly. A few minuteslater, it slid open again and the guard said, "TheQueen is upset because her children are misbehaving.You may not enter until conditions improve."



"But I bring good tidings, and if she would let mein, the children would surely abandon their mischief."



"Sorry," the guard grumbled, "I must do HerMajesty's bidding." Then he locked the door and left.



But Joy did not leave . . . She just kept knocking.



Today, if you feel upset for any reason, askyourself this: "Am I using these conditions as anexcuse to disallow my natural state of well-being?"
Decide that when JOY knocks on *your* door,you'll let it in... no matter what the conditions!



http://dailygroove.net/unconditional-joy
--> Get "The Daily Groove" book! http://www.enjoyparenting.com/book
Feel free to forward this message to your friends!(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

"It's Fun!"

That was what the cashier at Staples told us about high school, and why my unschooled daughter should go to high school when she's older. He then proceeded to tell us about the fun one can have in high school. For example, this young man was able to arrange to have fireworks explode on his school roof without getting caught! :O I informed him that my 17 year old son (who wasn't with us at the time) has fun with fireworks too, without attending school. Then he asked would I rather my son be using fireworks at home or school. Oh yeah, go do dangerous things without any guidance and supervision, in places where others could be seriously injured. I quickly answered, "At home."

I believe that the danger in most activities is often relative to one's knowledge of, and experience with that activity. Fireworks are a prime example. Driving a car is another. I see that my own children, having been provided with information and guidance about how to safely pursue the things they're interested in, are able to enjoy the activities they choose without needless risk-taking. Their thrills come from doing what they want, not getting away with things they "shouldn't" be doing. Now that's my idea of fun!

Happy Mother's Day!

"A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday school presentation. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Her son's memory was blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, "I am the light of the world." The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud clear voice said, "My mother is the light of the world." - Bits and Pieces, 1989

Have a wonderful day!

Spank-out Day

ILLUSTRATION from the No Spank site: Gregory Nemec, from "Teachers College Reports," Columbia University, Vol. 3, No. 1, Winter 2001



Today is National Spank-out Day, the final day of a full month devoted to Child Abuse Prevention. How many public service announcements have you seen/heard about this? I have not seen or heard any! I have encountered many messages for the protection of animals and the environment, to help orphans in Africa, to support breast cancer research, but none directed to the general public that proclaim the damage that hitting children causes to them and for ALL OF US. There is a very clear picture of all the ramifications that hitting children causes.

I believe in "doing small things with great love" (thank you, Mother Theresa), and that every little bit counts. You know, a pebble thrown in the water creates far-reaching ripples, that kind of philosophy. So I support all the above-noted causes in whatever small (or big) ways I can. But I am amazed at how blind people are to the dire ramifications of hitting children. Where is the public outcry for this?! Where are all the support ribbons on the cars? I'm just not seeing it.

What I do see is a more violent, angry world than the one in which I grew up. I see a world where people feel the need to carry concealed weapons to work. I see a world where families are so disconnected that teenagers are sent to boot camps where they are further abused and sometimes killed. Can anyone really deny that we are perpetuating and endorsing the lesson of "might makes right" when we rule over our children using physical punishment?

I think one of the things that prevents people from seeing the truth in this matter, is that it calls for many of us to admit what being hit has done to us. I've hear many say, "I was hit as a child, and it didn't damage me." Really? Do you remember how you felt being hit? It didn't bother you at all? You weren't physically hurting, afraid, confused, angry? Nothing? If you were hit by your parents, most likely you weren't given an opportunity to convey all your feelings about it to the perpetrator. So where did those feelings go? Did you suppress your feelings, believing the lie that your feelings were insignificant, allowing others to abuse you in the future ? Did you act aggressively to peers or those smaller than you, because you could? Did you keep a stiff upper lip, and know that your day would come, the day when you would be in charge, and you would be the one doing the hitting?

When an act of violence is committed against someone, there has to be an effect. It requires self-examination to determine what that effect is. It requires an honest appraisal of the beliefs we have had since our childhood and of how they impact our behavior and choices today. That is too unnerving for some people. The problem is that we cannot solve problems with the same tactics that caused them in the first place, and that by ignoring this we suffer the consequences reflected in our present day society. When we are so practiced at denying our own pain, it becomes easy to act as if it doesn't affect us when we cause our own children pain. And if we can do that, it is even easier to ignore others' children who are suffering.

It's time to give up the delusions that violence towards others is acceptable if the "others" are young enough. It's time to learn that self-control is better than attempting to control others, and it is best learned through example. It's time to speak up against violence toward children in your corner of the world. Let people know of the alternatives. Show them by your example. Offer your assistance to those at risk for hitting/being hit. Do your small part however you feel led. Spread the word: love, compassion, understanding can do more to heal our broken world than "spanking" ever could.

WHY?

If the President of the United States, many governors, mayors, and other leaders publicly proclaim the need to end child abuse, WHY is "spanking" still allowed in our country? WHY is it that the word "spanking" makes hitting smaller, more vulnerable people acceptable to some? WHY do we call ourselves one of the most advanced countries in the world, when many others have recognized the negative personal and social repercussions of hitting children and have outlawed it, before us?

This month is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and April 30th is National "Spank out Day". If you are interested spreading the word about more positive alternatives than spanking, as well as information to help prevent child abuse by supporting parents, check out the links I already included and these too:

* Ideas from the Blue Ribbons for Kids campaign

* Project No Spank

* National Exchange Club

* An international resource for legislative change

* Resources for my Christian friends

I know from experience that one of the most difficult things to do, but which can be immediately helpful in preventing child abuse, is to speak up when you publicly witness situations where there is potential for abuse. Here are some tips from The Ounce of Prevention Fund of Florida, which I hope will help in such a situation.

 Praise the parent or child at the first opportunity. Think of something positive to say and say it! It helps to hear others are supportive of you.

 Identify with the parent. You can let them know you’ve been there by saying, “My kids used to do the same thing when they were that age. Is there anything I can do to help?”

 Blame the environment. “This is such a bright and colorful place and filled with things for children to want to touch. I swear the supermarkets have really done a great job at creating a place where children just want to run around.”

 Offer assistance. “You seem to really have your hands full. Can I help you?” Or, “Can I find someone to come and help you with something?”

 Empathize with the child. “You don’t feel like sitting in that stroller anymore, do you? Well just a little longer and Mommy/Daddy will be all done and you can get out.”

 If you are concerned about the physical safety of the child, then offer assistance. For example, if a child is left unattended, stand by the child until the parent returns.

Any assistance you can offer a stressed parent will help them take a few seconds to take a deep breath and calm down.

When I witness mistreatment of others, especially children, I definitely need to take lots of deep breaths! I hope we can all learn to breath and be more peaceful!

Removing Labels That Stick

I am reprinting today's whole Daily Om because I can identify so much with what is written. I have been labelled by my family as "slow" - for taking too long for everything, "backwards"- for not warming up to strangers immediately and not being more outgoing. These are only two of the labels that I was "stuck with" growing up, and I spent much of my life trying to prove them wrong.


Fortunately, my children can see the value of who they are, even if others try to throw labels at them. With the knowledge that every moment is new, every moment is an opportunity to change or develope in a new way, I have been very diligent about not labelling my children, not even in my thoughts. I know firsthand how limiting it is to believe that others' labels of you are true. I think part of this also came from my many years of working with children who were given labels by the school system. Once told, I would often forget the labels, literally. In my mind, the only purose those labels served was to allow me to work with these children. The labels told me nothing about who the children were, or how I could be of service to them.


Through the blessing of the children I worked with, and my own children, I have learned to see the positive in so many traits that others would view as negative. This is a gift I have only recently been able to give myself. I no longer fight the "slow" label, but relish the fact that my "slowness" allows me to be more reflective and more appreciative of my life than I would be if I tried to keep up with others. I also know that I have more deeply authentic relationships in my life because I do not allow superficial social interactions to dominate my time. If others believe I am backwards, or have no "social life", so be it. I am happy with my life, and I do not let others' labels to take that away from me.


Just like the saying goes, "Labels are for soup cans." (Sorry, I don't know who said that.)
Don't accept labels from ANYONE, especially loved ones. Discover for yourself the good in what others cannot see. :D


Daily Om

February 6, 2008 Turn It Around

Laboring Under A Label



We live in a culture that uses labels as a means of understanding the world and the people living in it. As a result, many of us find ourselves laboring under a label that has a negative connotation. Unless we can find a way to see the good in such a label, we may feel burdened by an idea of ourselves that is not accurate. It is important to remember that almost nothing in this world is all good or all bad, and most everything is a complex mixture of gifts and challenges. In addition, different cultures revere certain qualities over others, but this does not mean that these qualities are inherently good or bad. For example, a culture that elevates outgoing behavior will label an introvert in a negative way, calling them antisocial. In truth, the ability to spend time alone is one that most great artists, mystics, and visionaries share. Owning the positive side of this label can lead us deeper into our gifted visions and fertile imaginations.


When we look into the lives of any of the great people in history, we always find that they had quirks and eccentricities that earned them less than ideal labels from the societies in which they lived. Many famous artists and musicians were considered to be isolated loners or disruptive troublemakers, or sometimes both, yet these people altered history and contributed to the world an original vision or advances in our understanding of the universe. If we can remember this as we examine our own selves and the labels people use to describe us, we find that there is a bright side to any characterization.

If you have been labeled, remember that all you have to do to see the positive side is to turn the label around. For example, you may be considered to be overly emotional, and the fact that you are perceived this way may make you feel out of control. But notice, too, the gifts of being able to feel and express your emotions, even in a world that doesn’t always encourage that. You might begin to see yourself as brave and open-hearted enough to stay alive to your feelings. You may also see that there are certain paths and professions in which this is a necessary ability. As you turn your label around, the light of your true nature shines to guide you on your way .

For more information visit dailyom.com

My Son's Collections

My eight year old son loves to collect things and display them for all to see. I'm not sure if he is leaning toward museum curator or window display artist. (I know; there is so much more he can do with these talents!) I'm just impressed by how he has done this from a very young age. It's clearly a part of who he is. Anyway, here's a little tour of just a few of his collections. The pet rock friends - displayed on a spice rack, on a bookshelf so to increase the available display area.

All the wooden toys my son has built or assembled (puzzles), plus the model motorcycle he and my husband put together.
Most of the Z-card models are displayed on this corner shelf (also built by my son).
My son's shark tooth collection has special display "stands", which he crafted out of Fimo clay. (Notice the biggest tooth has a place of honor.)
This is a close-up of some of the Z-cards.

Now we just have to find more room to display the rock collection, the shell collection, the miniature alien collection, the coin collection, and probably a few more I'm forgetting! I'm thinking maybe we should have rotating exhibits.

Keeping Your "Daily Groove", Even When Holidays Disrupt Your Daily Flow

A Post-Modern Thanksgiving by Scott Noelle, posted on 2006-11-23

Transforming your life experience (including parenting) from a grind to a groove leads to a peculiar realization: It's all GOOD... even the "bad" stuff!

There are hidden blessings in every situation. You may not see some of those blessings for quite some time — perhaps years — but who's to say you can't enjoy them before you know what they are? Don't you enjoy receiving a gift even before you've unwrapped it? :)

So if you're celebrating Thanksgiving today, try giving thanks for things that don't normally garner your gratitude:

Your child's crying, whining, aggression, etc.

The person who judged or criticized your parenting.

That thing you said or did to your child that you promised you never would.

Allow yourself to appreciate that LIFE IS GOOD... all of it! Acknowledge the gift of shadows, without which the Light would have no depth.
Have fun! :)

(Check out Scott's site for more parenting wisdom and inspiration.)

It's really true! Life IS good. When we can see all things that happens as valuable, everything takes on new meaning. The trick is learning to listen to the message that we're getting from life's twists and turns. It takes mindfulness to be able to step back from situations and to examine them for what meaning they have for our life. This requires us to be fully present in the moment, so that we can observe what is really happening, rather than what we "think" is happening.

Being fully present ironically allows us to remove our "selves" from the situation so that we can observe what is happening, rather than just reacting to what is going on. From this vantage point, we can CHOOSE how to view and handle a situation. We can choose to see the light that shines even in the darkest of moments. But first, we have to be looking for it! ;)

Here's to a Thanksgiving that "shines" for all us! Cheers!

Here's to Change!!!

(Mary Cassat, After the Bath)

Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
Bernard BerensonUS (Lithuanian-born) art critic (1865 - 1959)

I LOVE this quote! There are so many "parenting experts" that insist you must be "consistent" with your children in order to raise them properly. This often translates into inflexible rules that ultimately make both parent and child miserable and do nothing to enhance their relationship or trust in one another. How much better it is to be able to say, "When I knew better, I did better." How much more reassuring is it to children to know that you will be *consistently* loving and responsive to their needs, rather than reacting with prescribed, predictable outcomes. What an awesome example to your children to show that you are always open to learning more and doing "better" in order to improve the quality of your life and theirs!

I say LET GO of all the old parenting stand-bys that so many people rest on comfortably. Dare to create a unique relationship with your children, one that *shines* as an example of the power of love to change things for the better.

Covering the Basics

We had a super busy weekend, meeting all the basic human needs for food, shelter, clothing, and beauty. Here are the results of our efforts.

A t-shirt that became a dress, thanks to the wonderfully easy tutorials on whatthecraft.com.

A house was built from "Magic Nuudles".

Delicious strawberry-banana smoothies were made using a recipe from the DK Children's Cookbook.

And last, but certainly not least, some ShrinkyDink artwork was created by Joseph.

Oh, I forgot all about the experiments in the laboratory. I just can't keep up with all the fun that goes on around here! LOL Well "the lab" deserves a post of its own, so I guess you'll here about it later.

Until then, hope all your needs are being met with JOY!

What Would Scott Do?

I know I've shared this man's wonderfully wise words here before, but he has so many that I just have to do it again. ;) If you're not receiving Scott Noelle's "Daily Groove" in your e-mailbox, I urge you to go to the website below and sign up - TODAY! You'll be glad you did. Really. I promise. :)


THE DAILY GROOVE
~ by Scott Noelle, www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: WWCD: What Would a Child Do? ::

A popular Christian slogan is "WWJD: What Would Jesus Do?" This is an excellent question for Christian parents to ask, as Jesus honored children, promoted nonviolence, and embodied unconditional love.

Anyone you consider to be loving and wise can help you connect with your Inner Wisdom in this way:
* What would the Dalai Lama do?
* What would my great aunt Sally do?
* What would Mister Rogers do?
* What would my dog do? (Seriously!)

Another great source of wisdom is *children*, who constantly present us with opportunities to let go of limiting beliefs:
* A child would care more about feeling good than being "right."
* A child would look for the FUN in every situation.
* A child would be open to miracles.
* A child would be authentic.

Today, include children's wisdom in your decision-making by asking yourself, "What would a child do?" Once you've expanded your perspective in this way, ask yourself the most important question: " What would *I* do?"


http://dailygroove.net/wwcd Feel free to forward this message to your friends! (Please include this paragraph and everything above.) Copyright (c) 2007 by Scott Noelle

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!

That show had a profound impact on me. It helped fuel my dreams of a "land where the children are free." Little did I know that over 30 years later, some of the concepts in that show would still be considered "revolutionary".

Independence Day for (R)evolutionary Parents
by Scott Noelle, posted on 2006-07-04

Parents who practice attachment parenting (and other natural, child-honoring approaches) are often accused of neglecting their children's development of independence. "You've got to teach them to sleep alone, to soothe themselves," we are warned.

Strangely, these warnings usually come from the same folks who advise us to take swift disciplinary action the moment our children exhibit signs of independence, now re-labeled "disobedience."

Thankfully, we have the reassurance of the Founding Mothers and Fathers of holistic parenting whose "spoiled" kids are growing up to be remarkably independent!

Today is Independence Day in America, so let's write our own Declaration of Independence from the culture of alienation:

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Children are created Lovable, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Happiness of Parental Proximity....

www.EnjoyParenting.com • Copyright©2007 by Scott Noelle

The Name/Blame Game

Right now, doctors are deliberating on whether or not to include a create a new diagnosis, Video Game Addiction. Yes, I'm serious. You can read more about it in this article which warns of all the dangers, such as "teens holing up in their rooms, ignoring friends, family, even food and a shower, while grades plummet and belligerence soars." Not surprisingly, much of the focus is on the risk to children and teens.

You may say that there are some who cannot function at all because of their "addictions", but I disagree. There is more to it than that. There is an underlying cause which leads some to choose their addictive activity above all others. It might be depression, frustration, need for control, among many other things. Maybe there are too many frustrated children and teens, seeking some sense of control and joy in their life, and video games are one of the ways they find it. Maybe for some with a homelife so unhappy the video games become "like" an addiction. But true addiction is a physiological state, caused by substances taken into the body, not by things outside of the body.

This is an opportunity for people to look deeper and see why are there so many unhappy children and teens, not what new label can we give them. Wake up people! Give your children the respect they deserve and stop treating them like projects to complete. They are whole already. If you need a project, look at yourself. We all have need of self-improvement, don't we? Or maybe we need a new label. As Dr. Brody, head of a TV and media committee at the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, stated, " You could make lots of behavioral things into addictions. Why stop at video gaming? Why not Blackberries, cell phones, or other irritating habits?"

State of the Union or Reaping What You Sow

What you see below is the verbatim copy of an e-mail I received today from a friend. It is the second time I have seen this e-mail, and I just HAD to make a public statement about how I feel about it. (I know I don't have much of a "public" reading this, but it will help me to get it off my chest and more coherent for future proselytyzing. ;)

WOW, WHAT A WAKE UP!

Dear God:

Why didn't you save the school children at ?

Moses Lake , Washington 2/2/96
Bethel , Alaska 2/19/97
Pearl , Mississippi 10/1/97
West Paducah , Kentucky 12/1/97
Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97
Jonesboro , Arkansas 3/24/98
Edinboro , Pennsylvania 4/24/98
Fayetteville , Tennessee 5/19/98
Springfield , Oregon 5/21/98
Richmond , Virginia 6/15/98
Littleton , Colorado 4/20/99
Taber , Alberta , Canada 5/28/99
Conyers , Georgia 5/20/99
Deming , New Mexico 11/19/99
Fort Gibson , Oklahoma 12/6/99
Santee , California 3/ 5/01
El Cajon , California 3/22/01
and Virginia Tech., 4/16/07?

Sincerely, Concerned Student

Reply:
Dear Concerned Student:
I am not allowed in schools.
Sincerely,
God

How did this get started?...
Let's see,
I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare complained she didn't want any prayer in our schools. And we said, OK.

Then, someone said you better not read the Bible in school, the Bible that says "thou shalt not kill, hou shalt not steal, and love your neighbors as yourself," And we said, OK...

Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehaved because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem. And we said, an expert should know what he's talking about so we won't spank them anymore.

Then someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children when they misbehave. And the school administrators said no faculty member in this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don't want any bad publicity, and we surely don't want to be sued. And we accepted their reasoning...

And the entertainment industry said, let's make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence and illicit sex... And let's record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes... And we said, it's just entertainment and it has no adverse effect and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, classmates or even themselves.
Undoubtedly, if we thought about it long and hard enough, we could figure it out. I'm sure it has a great deal to do with... "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW,"

Pass it on if you think it has merit! If not then just discard it...but if you discard this thought process, then don't you dare sit back and complain about what bad shape this country is in In God We Trust

I think that the separation of church and state got carried too far in removing prayer from schools, but I also think it is par for the course when it comes to schools. Freedom of religion is just one more right that children in schools are prevented from exercising, along with too many more to list here. But to say that not spanking our kids, or paddling them in school is what brought about the demise of our country is just plain bogus. Spankings, and much worse, occur all the time in this country. Paddling is still legal in many state schools! Children continue to die at the hands of the very people entrusted to keep them safe and help them flourish. Not to mention all the research which shows violent criminals were usually mistreated as children. Yes... we do reap what we sow!

How much more obvious could it be?!

The Center for Effective Discipline

SPANKOUT DAY USA

For those who weren't already aware, yesterday was SPANKOUT DAY, which "was initiated in 1998 to give widespread attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching children appropriate behavior. EPOCH-USA (End Physical Punishment of Children) sponsors SpankOut Day USA on April 30th of each year. All parents, guardians, and caregivers are encouraged to refrain from hitting children on this day, and to seek alternative methods of discipline through programs available in community agencies, churches and schools." If you want an idea of how widespread and accepted hitting people (who happen to be under the age of 18) is in our country, check out "2007 Kindness to Children Index". It is encouraging to see that some countries have outlawed all hitting of children, in all settings. Can you imagine that happening here in the USA? Let's do more than imagine. Let's make it a reality!!!


Until then, here's some food for thought about how wonderful it can be, how wonderful it IS, when children are given love and kindness rather than being attacked for being children.


THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: The Trickle-Down Theory of Human Kindness ::

In peaceful "primitive" cultures, kindness is
sustained from generation to generation by a kind of
"trickle-down" effect. At its core is the commonly
held value of serving and delighting younger people,
especially babies.

Adults appreciate and support the delight of adolescents,
who delight in the joy of prepubescents,
who enjoy entertaining younger children,
who love to carry babies and play with toddlers.

The elegance of this top-down, pleasure-oriented value
system is that the youngest people receive the most
(and give the least) at the developmental stage when
they're naturally narcissistic, while those who give more
are more adept at deriving joy from giving.

In contrast...

Adults in our culture often *fear* adolescents,
who call prepubescents "dweebs,"
who disparagingly call younger children "babies,"
who compete with real babies for scarce love and attention.

When your children behave unkindly, remember that you
can't enforce authentic kindness. Instead, let it
trickle down by *modeling* unconditional generosity.
Using your creativity, find a way to serve and delight
both "aggressor" and "victim" ...and yourself, too!

http://dailygroove.net/trickle-down

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2007 by Scott Noelle

Being Heard Without Being Loud

This "tank dress" was made by piecing together thousands of knitted and crochet squtares sent in by people from Denmark, the UK, and the US, who opposed Denmark's involvement in the Iraq War. The artist, Marianne Joergensen said, "The possibility of “knitting your opinions” gives the project an aspect that I think is important. The common element in the project gives importance beyond words. [snip] Unsimilar to a war, knitting signals home, care, closeness and time for reflection. Ever since Denmark became invol ved in the war in Iraq I have made different variations of pink tanks, and I intend to keep doing that, until the war ends. For me, the tank is a symbol of stepping over other people’s borders. When it is covered in pink, it becomes completely unarmed and it loses it’s authority." You can see more pictures and a short documentary about the making of this pink tank here.

This is how I imagine the "Children should be seen and not heard," mandate of yesteryear could be re-interpreted as an adult who grew up with that message. You might not want to "hear" me, but you'll get the message anyway!!! I also think that speaks volumes (pun intended) about the ability of person to get their point across without being loud.

I, personally, have been accused of "letting others walk all over me," because I didn't immediately react with a verbal response that seemed appropriate to observers. While it may appear that way at times, I try to be selective about the words I use, about the message I want to convey, because I KNOW how much trouble words can cause. You know the saying, right? We have only one mouth and two ears so we can listen more and talk less. Well, I really work at that. I work at understanding where that other person is coming from. I take time to process their comments, then I formulate a response and wait for the appropriate moment to address the issue. IF there is something that needs to be addressed, I address it. Sometimes, it really is worth letting it go.

Sometimes, there really is nothing to say. No response at all helps some people to work through their issue on their own, just by letting them continue speaking without being interrupted or confronted. Sometimes silences say alot more than words ever can. They let the person know that you are not going to engage them in their "war", no matter how much they try. The visual image of your calm in the midst of their "storm" can really help.

Anyway, those are just my few thoughts about quiet protest. I have found success personally in living quietly, and I just felt compelled to say that not all activists are loud. :)

I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT SPANKING, ABE!!!

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. Abraham Lincoln



http://www.nospank.net/main.htm